I am immersing myself in a bubble. At times I am floating and at other times, pop! All that I thought was perfect appears far less than that.
Politics, puns, pontificating, professing, or pretending to know what I cannot imagine, are not my chosen path in this moment. Writing words of wonderment is beyond me for now. I am wrestling with life decisions. I have decided to make a huge change, to consider a life transition. I am certain that I need to at minimum, explore this idea. For the last two months, I have done much research, made many telephone calls, pursued practical avenues, and now the time has come.
I have wanted to live in Southern Florida since the age of eleven. At that ripe-old-age, I traveled to Miami Beach. I spent the summer living with my grandparents. I loved it. Some may muse my present lusting is that of a child. It reflects a hope to return to a carefree life. It is not. I know if I move now, as an adult, the experience will differ. My grandparents will not protect or play with me; they will not cover my expenses.
I will be on my own, with a little loving support from friends and family. I trust that one cannot re-capture youth; nor would I ever want to. I know not of others; however, I do know for me, who I am in this moment brings me more happiness than I ever imaged.
Some theorize those wishing to escape their current circumstances make a move such as this. Ah, if only that were the case. I love my life! I love my community! I love the people, the places; I disdain the climate.
For me, Southern California is cold, brown, and gloomy. We have sun, but it comes late in the day. We have heat, though never much. We have no clouds. The skies are vacant and clear or there is a marine layer. Thus, I want to leave. As a very close friend said, “You gave it a shot.” I have been here for decades! It is time to transition, though fear invades my every thought, or at least many of them.
Am I doing the “right” thing? Will I have regrets and if I do what then? I may have remorse for consciously choosing to give up all the beauty I created. I have two Birchwood lined skylights! I put skylights in my present home thinking that would help; however, I cannot escape what is outside or how it affects me within.
There are those that invest in real estate. They buy simply to sell. They sell to make money. They enter a house merely to exit again, in the not too distant future. I am not one of these.
Some move to buy better; money is no object. That is not my situation.
People move to a better neighbor, more fashionable and chic. Their travels do not take them far; they go up the street, or a town or two away. Individuals are able to easily assess the properties that they are interested in. A few hours here, then there, and decisions are made.
For me, these luxuries are fleeting. I need to view from afar, to speculate, to cogitate, and ultimately fly. Even then, I wonder; will I truly know? The comfort that comes with being able to live in a community for a time, to cast money to the wind in rent, to uproot, to gather all one’s belongings and store them for a time is not mine. I think, what of the babies?
Several people have what they call “pets”; they are independent and can be cared for by anyone. Many muse the anxiety that these creatures experience is not lasting. Possibly I have “too” strong a background in psychology or I have read “too much” on the brain patterns of what some think are “pets.” Nevertheless. When I read of and saw the magnetic resonance imaging [MRI] of mammals as they view photographs of those that care for them, my heart leaped. I am more certain than ever that my babies are important to me and I am to them. My travels need to consider their well-being.
Thus, I ask, can you relate? Do you have similar stories? Please share your stories. Tell me, what was your situation? Have you ever altered your life intentionally, knowing that all was well and yet, you needed to change? How did you go about this? How did your story evolve? What did you learn from it and eventually, what did you conclude?