You say you want to do this, to be that, to go here, or be there; yet, simultaneously, you state, “I am fine. I don’t care.” Words are powerful; they are thoughts that stimulate or stop action.
So often, people act as if they do not care. They even say so, frequently. The statement “I don’t care” can be heard on every street corner, in every room, and echoes often in every mind. Years ago, I realized the idea of not caring is the saddest of all human states. I consciously decided not to use that phrase. On the rare occasion it slips out, I immediately correct myself aloud. I recognize that I am human, I too am easily indoctrinated to slang, and I am a creature of habit; therefore, a common clause does spew from my mouth unexpectedly. However, I do care!
For me, every entity is important and must be treated as such. Granted, one aspect of a situation may be more or less significant to me at any given moment, nevertheless, for me, all is vital and has value. Sadly, for many, it does not, or at least they pretend that a person, place, or thing has no affect on them. I personally think they say they “do not care” because they wish they did not. However, I digress.
Today, an amazing gentleman entered my home to do some work. I met him once before and realized then, he is quite the philosopher. He is deep, reflective, introspective and aware. “Joe,” is impressive. We were speaking of a lax, laissez-faire society, and people’s intelligence or lack thereof. Joe used a word that I eliminated from my vocabulary when I was sixteen. I shared with him that I do not believe anyone is, or any thought is . . . [I shudder to write this word; yet, I fear you may wonder if I am too cryptic.] The word is stup**. It is analogous to “dumb.”
People often use this word when feeling anger, annoyance, or frustration; it places the onus on the other. Sadly, it leaves the recipient feeling as though they are less-than. Joe and I discussed the qualities that led him to believe that someone acted as though they were stu***. Then he added his own sorrow for what more often than not, is.
People’s interests take them to where they are.– Joe Robbins
At first, I was uncertain of what this meant and we discussed it. He offered other words, “You are where your interests take you.” If you have no interests . . . [beyond survival, then merely surviving is where you will be. It is what you will do.] Wow, how wise!!!
Joe mentioned that he noted, unfortunately, many have not realized their deepest passion. They know not what they enjoy. Commonly, humans seek the superficial gratifiers and forget that having these does not bring them a feeling of delight. Many do what does not give them a sense of authentic satisfaction. They wonder why pleasure is fleeting. Some recognize that the tangible provides only a temporary impression of fulfillment.
Humans seek diplomas, certificates, salaries, and recognition from others for their “achievements.” They want a better car, a bigger house, a boat, or a motorcycle, not because of the memories these will generate; instead, they want these because they think these validate them and happiness will be realized. The stress they experience in obtaining these be damned; they want the prize. Numerous persons believe that “pain is gain” or “we must pay our dues.” The treasure drives them, not their inner “interests.”
What “floats our boat,” “rocks our world,” and is best for us is within and differs from what others may want for us. No one can tell any of us or surmise what is appealing to our soul. When we are engaged in our most sincere fascination, there is no time. We are one with our thoughts and ourselves. Our brain, heart, mind, body, and soul are elsewhere, connecting to our core and we are separate from the forces that are actually societal dictums.
When we run hither and yon, networking, making money, avoiding loneliness, or making what others think is best, we are still seeking happiness, are we not? When we do, think, feel, and are as others believe, we “should,” are we genuinely caring for our own actions, words, or deeds? If we go through the motions without an inner passion, if we do not care, what can we expect? What will we receive?
In my own life, outsiders, friends, and family observed my love of learning. They thought what I was studying at the time was my bliss. It was not and I knew it. Nonetheless, I pursued what was “real” for them. I knew I was scared! I was avoiding what I feared, be it success, failure, or truly knowing me.
Joseph Campbell wrote, “Follow your bliss.” When interviewed he expressed that this sentiment was often misinterpreted. Your “bliss” is not creating what looks like luxury or a life; it is understanding “who” you are. This contrast from what you do, or what you are good at. Following your bliss is not defined by what you have, or who you seem to be.
When one comprehends to his or her core what is of interest to them, they become absorbed. There is a sense of oneness, wholeness, and serenity that is indefinable. I discovered my own “bliss” accidentally. Life took me to it, unwillingly. I still struggle to overcome the doubts, qualms, and uncertainties; however, I finally know my interest. Giving myself permission to pursue what others may not understand and may cause me to stumble and be overcome with reservations, that is the journey. Yet, I am ready, willing, and able. I want to be where I want to be.
“Ecstasy” is not found in pleasing others; nor does it correlate to the norms. It is not necessarily doing as your parents, spouse, friends, or family think you “should” do. Paradise is realized when you, as a unique individual, find your deepest interest and allow it to guide your evolution.
“If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you,
And the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.
Wherever you are — if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time.” – Joseph Campbell
If your mantra is “I do not care,” if you do not seek your heartfelt interest in a person, place, or thing, then, how can you expect to achieve fulfillment?
I believe as Joe Robbins stated, reciprocally, our interests bring us where we are and we are where we are because we are [or are not] connected to and acting on our interests. I thank you Joe for being my among my mentors.
Whoa, is the man, woman, or child or has no “real” interests, for where will he or she be? I think, to be interested in what is outside us, will naturally stimulate and even originate an interest in ourselves. for it is true . . .
“All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated…As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness…. No man is an island, entire of itself…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” – John Donne
Joe, Joseph, and John are helping me to journey beyond. Possibly, my words will help you.
May you live long, learn much, and feel fulfilled . . . Betsy